A Change in Perspective

When I first told my wife I wanted to be a cop, she straight-up told me, “You’re too nice. You’re not enough of an asshole to do that job.” Five years in, and while I’ve definitely changed, I wouldn’t say I’ve turned into the asshole she thought I’d need to be…

This job has shifted my perspective in ways I never expected. Life, death… they hit different now. Parenthood feels heavier, more important. I’ve learned to love my family harder because I know how quickly things can change. But through all of it, I’ve managed to hold onto that “nice guy” part of me. Maybe that’s why I can still do this job without feeling completely burned out.

When I started the academy, I thought I knew what being a cop was all about: locking up bad guys, running interrogations, all that TV shit. Turns out, the reality is a lot messier. It’s not what I expected, but it’s been a hell of a ride. And honestly, I’m glad I didn’t let my own naïve expectations, or anyone else’s, keep me from sticking it out.

In my past posts, I’ve shared some of the crazy, fucked-up shit I’ve seen on this job; calls that stick with you, moments you wish you could unsee, and some of the surprisingly funny lessons I’ve learned in between. But this time, I want to get real about how this job has changed me. How it’s flipped my view of the world and redefined the way I look at people and relationships.

Pre-academy Landon? That guy didn’t know shit. I thought I’d seen a little bit of the world, but really, I lived a cushy, sheltered life. Sure, I liked to think I was a bit of a rebel. But in hindsight, my big act of rebellion was smoking weed with friends before it was cool and legal. Yeah, watch out, we’ve got a badass over here.

Back then, I had a lot of what I thought were friends. High school me was in with everyone: parties, clubs, casual hangouts. I had people I’d call to party with, people to shoot the shit with, and yeah, we had fun. But looking back, I don’t know if I’d have put my life on the line for any of them. Would I have taken a bullet for those “friends”? Probably not. And if that makes me sound like a selfish asshole, well, at least I’m being honest.

Then I became a cop, and my definition of friendship got completely fucking reprogrammed. Now I’ve got people in my life who aren’t just “friends.” These are people I’d walk straight into hell for. No hesitation, no second-guessing. Because in this job, that’s what you do. You don’t just careabout each other. You protect each other, even if it means you don’t come home. Being a cop is weird because there are some people I run calls with that I have never had a real conversation with them, but if it came down to it, I’d take a bullet for them without hesitation. 

The thing about being a cop is it screws with how you connect with the world. Trying to explain what you’ve been through to someone outside the job is almost impossible. “Normal” people don’t get it, and honestly, they shouldn’t have to. That’s why it’s easier to be around other cops. They’ve been there. They’ve seen the same nightmares and laughed at the same dark, fucked-up jokes just to keep going. They get it in a way no one else ever will.

And yeah, I know it sounds super cheesy, but this career is a family. Dysfunctional as fuck, but solid when it matters. There are people I work with who I’d never grab a beer with, but if shit hit the fan, I’d throw myself in the line of fire to make sure they get home. Not because I like them. Not even because they deserve it. But because we’re in this together, and that’s just how it works.

Something else this career has changed my perspective on is kids. On one hand, kids are assholes. They disrespect their parents, are entitled as fuck, and don’t think before they do something really stupid. But on the other hand, kids aren’t as innocent as they look. Kids are mistreated and are a product of their parents’ bad lifestyle choices. Since being a cop, I have had 2 beautiful children. Both of my boys, Theodore and Oliver, I would take a bullet for every day, if it meant they were safe and felt loved. 

Every week I work, I deal with children who think the world is ending when they get their phones taken away. I work with kids who disrespect their parents simply because they can. A lot of officers I work with hate dealing with kids, especially the shitty kids. Every week I also deal with kids who have no idea what even having a phone is like, or have no idea what having 2 parents is like. One of the most memorable scenes I recall as a police officer revolved around 5 kiddos. These kids all lived in a 300 square foot motel room with multiple animals, had parents that chain smoked inside, were frequently in the middle of domestic violence, and they all shared a twin mattress. Rather than sleeping on the mattress like a normal person, these kids slept on the mattress horizontally so they were all next to each other and could all fit. In other words these kids slept with their upper bodies on the mattress and their lower bodies off so they would all be able to lay on a bed. The bed was literally sideways.

I guess I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but what I do know is that this job has made me love my kids more and has opened my eyes to how kids are living and being treated in our very communities. 

I also deal with people who exploit kids: absolute predators who get off on traumatizing children for their own sick, selfish desires. These “people” leave scars that last a lifetime. And it’s not just them. It’s the so-called parents who drag their kids into their own bullshit, forcing them to witness violence, addiction, and petty criminal drama.  

Seeing what some of these kids endure made me rethink my own past. How many of the “weird” or “off” kids I went to school with were silently suffering like this? I regret not reaching out more, not making sure they felt seen or valued. Because now I know… some of them were living through absolute hell, and no one fucking noticed.  

This job has completely changed the way I see mental health. Growing up, I was lucky. I wasn’t surrounded by mental health struggles, and my family was what you’d call “normal.” I didn’t have to deal with it personally either. But this job opened my eyes to the battles people face every single day, and let me tell you, it’s some heavy shit. It’s made me more empathetic, more aware, and a hell of a lot more human.

That said, I’ve come to realize something unsettling: some people in my own family still don’t believe mental health issues are real. They chalk it up to bad habits, laziness, or anything but an actual condition. A majority of them are anti-medication and swear that eating healthy will fix everything. Spoiler alert: no amount of kale is going to cure fucking schizophrenia. What pisses me off the most about my family, or just people in general, is that if they haven’t experienced it, then it doesn’t exist. That mindset isn’t just ignorant, but it’s dangerous.

This disconnect is part of why I’m so passionate about supporting people with mental health struggles. As a kid, I didn’t know how many people were silently fighting. But as an adult, I’ve learned that it’s okay not to be okay, and that the only way to tackle the mental health crisis is through relentless support. Support the individuals who are struggling. Support the facilities that care for them. Support the physicians, social workers, and first responders who are out there doing the work.

Side note, since I’m on the topic of supporting physicians… My uncle loves to boast about how he hasn’t been to the doctor since he was a kid. He also claims and makes it very clear that he doesn’t respect doctors, which is rich considering they’re the reason society hasn’t collapsed into chaos. Honestly, if he ever did see a doctor, they’d probably prescribe him something for his raging case of being a stubborn bigot who thinks he’s always right… assuming they could stop laughing at him long enough to write the script.

ANYWAYS BACK ON TOPIC! Working in law enforcement has forced me to face a hard truth: my childhood wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought. My parents and I had our disagreements… we still do. But I know my parents love and support me and I had a good example growing up. I hate calling myself “lucky” for having good parents, like it’s some fucking lottery those other kids lost. But the truth is, I was blessed. Even when we clashed, my family loved me. They had my back.  

Now that I’ve got my own family? I’m making damn sure my kids grow up in a home where they’re supported. They can be whoever they want, love who they love, believe what they believe… as long as they’re decent people, that’s all that matters to me. Because at the end of the day, my job isn’t to mold them; it’s to make sure they’ve got the foundation to stand tall on their own and be good human beings.

Being a police officer has profoundly changed me. It has deepened my empathy, allowing me to step into others’ shoes and understand their perspectives, even when I haven’t experienced their situations firsthand. It has strengthened my love for my family and people in general, fostering a genuine compassion for others. It has blessed me with friends I consider as family. I approach every situation with an open mind and an open heart, free from judgment. Through this journey, I’ve learned that understanding and kindness is the ultimate way to communicate and find solutions to deep-rooted problems.